Happy Sunday to all of our friends!
We have been sucked into the busiest time of the year with the holidays, upcoming finals weeks, and the lazy darkness of day light savings. On a different note, we have just passed the two and a half year mark as a couple, yay!
Though it has been a humbly long-lasting relationship as a young couple, we have spent over half of that time apart, and let us tell you-it is not easy. We may bicker as any couple would, but being apart is much more difficult to hug it out after arguments or get together for a quick movie when you are free. It is especially difficult to rely on our phones to communicate and grow, but we make it work. We have a goal to keep it together and that is what makes it worth it. Here are some tips that you might find helpful through the long distance:
Avoid the fact that long distance is hard work.
We know, it is hard! While it takes ambition at first to commit to long distance dating, it is completely okay to recognize that distance is hard work. Communication becomes more important, time together becomes more valuable, and the drive to work harder is real. You can be emotional about it, too. Do not avoid talking about how hard it is, but also continue to affirm how worth it that it is to both of you.
As we have mentioned, it is hard work! But that does not mean that you can make excuses to avoid the hard work. You work for what you want, and excuses like “I don’t have time…” and “I forgot…” will not keep you strong. Be honest with your significant other because they care and are understanding when you are busy or need a bit of alone time.
Make Irrational Assumptions
Have some trust for that long-distance lover of yours! While it is difficult to communicate when you are relying on that morning text from him, you cannot assume he hates you and wants to break up if he wakes up late and forgets to text you. Be patient, understanding, and avoid assuming the worst. If something seems off, bring it up in an appropriate manner and talk it out before you let your conscience ramble on. (It also tends to throw your significant other into confused, attack mode when you randomly send them the cold-text shoulder).
Make Promises that You Cannot Keep
My friends, it is not making promises to call your significant other at 8:43 pm every night and to see them every Saturday for dinner that keep you together forever. Yes, communication is important and date nights are fun, but we are human and far from perfect. Events come up, group projects get in the way and these promises are not always kept. To avoid disappointing your significant other and causing unwanted conflict, do not promise things that might not be always attainable.
The next best idea aside from promising is setting goals. Make it a goal to see your significant other once a week and call them when you are walking home from class. When you set goals as a couple, you both have a clear understanding of what is expected of each other in the group effort and you have a clear directions as to where you are headed. We like to call once a day, text when we can, and see each other once a weekend if possible.
Creatively and Regularly Communicate
With distance, communication is truly key. We struggle with communication in the ambiguity and assumption categories. When all you have is your cell phone, you become more dependent on those phone calls and little texts. We like to text, call, and stay connected over social media such as sending each other links to cool pictures or sharing articles over social media. It not only allows for more ways share life with each other, it also helps to feel connected with such distance.
Appreciate the Opportunities
When you finally get to see each other, appreciate the opportunities that arise. While we might not see each other every weekend, we make the most of that time that we do. This also includes making time to see your significant other. You can also make surprise visits and weekend get-aways perfect opportunities to see each other in a fun way.
Stay Honest and Keep In-Touch
Life can get busy and communicating can be difficult without face-to-face interaction, updating your lover on your life is important. Remember that they care about your day at work and about your dull professors in lecture, too. They love to follow up on your midterms and asking how you slept the night before. Do not leave your significant other out of those little details in life. It is that kind of honest and communication that will keep you connected and willing to endure hardships with love and support.
We wish you much endurance and love,
Till next time, xoxo